When you’re no longer a young, wild and carefree twenty-something, the wide world of adulting takes over your life- Your life takes on a routine, working to pay the bills takes precedence, and you begin to feel a little surer of yourself than you may have done before. This is no different when it comes to finding somebody to do life with.
Trying to find a companion in your 30s takes on an entirely different tone. It takes preparation, and a greater understanding of the people left available on the market.
Understandably so, this can be a worry- especially when it seems as though the only potential partners are those who have strange interests or those who are married looking for something a little extra.
Let’s face it, in your former years, you may well have served your time with kissing frogs, you may now believe it’s now time to search for Prince (or Princess) Charming, settle down, get the ring, the house, the 2.5 children and the dog.
Being over 29 and dating will bring a whole set of new and interesting rules to boot. There are many things that you wished people would have told you about this season in your life. It’s not just about finding ‘the one’, it can truly about having your cake and eating it, too.
For the genuine, here are some of the things that you must know, and that are completely fine about being single and dating in your 30s.
Deal Breakers are a Real Thing
Once you leave behind your reckless, stressful, impoverished 20s, you begin the value the important things in life- Including how to value your time. You no longer waste time on dates that will lead to nothing. You begin to value the sense of quality over quantity.
This is also the case with knowing what your dealbreakers are. At 21, it may not have mattered so much if your date expressed the desire to travel the world, or that they absolutely didn’t want children, because your life may not have been at that settling-down stage at that point in time.
However, the 30-something-year-old you has a different agenda altogether. Your relationships now have a future-focus, meaning that even a slight difference in politics and morals can be a deal-breaker to whom you may decide to settle down with.
While this is fine, unless their habits are utterly unbearable, there may be some things that you’ll have to let go- like their growing interest in collecting loud shirts. It may be annoying, but they certainly aren’t offensive. On the plus side, it will also give you the opportunity to take your beau shopping!
You’ve Surveyed The Landscape- and that’s Okay
By now, you may have had several romantic experiences with several people. You may have had a few naughty weekends here and there, and you may now even be searching for a new relationship after a marriage ended. All of these experiences have shaped your personal, and indeed, your dating landscape. As a slightly older person, you have the wisdom and growth from the years behind you to help you realize what you want and need out of life.
Back in the day, playing hard to get and having that exhilarating thrill of the chase may have brought an ego boost with it. However, now, you want to cut to the chase, as somebody who is comfortable in their own skin--playing to win, and not a power play.
Since dating is now about getting real, you’ll be able to tell when somebody is talking too smooth. Along with this, you’ll be more aware of your worth, and know that chasing them around to gain affirmation is not the way to go to secure your lifelong partner. You’re a little older and wiser- this works massively in your favor.
Everyone Has Opinions
Most single women in their 30s will have heard comments about how their biological clock is ticking away, and how all of the decent people are already off the market and settled down. Dating in your 30s can be a tough ride.
The rising pressure to find love can take center stage in one’s life after a certain age. When it feels as though you have the right to be a little more selective, the dating-pool can feel a little more sparse making it seem much harder to find your sexy suitor.
What makes it worse are the happy couples around you trying to set you up with their co-worker’s cousin who they met at another wedding! People will believe that they know what’s best for you based on ‘need’ and not ‘want’. You may not want to settle down with whoever, but they believe you need to.
Stay firm with what, and more importantly, who, you want to go for.
Apps Make it Easy to Get Lost in Translation
Love them or loathe them, dating apps are a gamechanger when it comes to meeting a potential match. Today, around 40% of couples first meet online.
This could mean the end of long, lonely evenings sipping the same beverage at the bar hoping to happen upon your one, true love.
Having a catalog of potential suitors at your fingertips means you can select your matches from the comfort of your living room. Sure, online dating has a reputation of swiping your way to a hookup, but there are premium services available to help you to get to know people.
Swiping not your thing? Hear the voices of people also looking for love by using MyMobileline Free Chat lines for Women, an accessible service available to singletons who want something a little different than the usual online dating service. By using chat lines it gives you the chance to speak to someone and get to know them on a personal level which can’t be done through messaging and emojis. So giving lesbian chatlines or whatever your preference is a go, it might be just what you are looking for.
Knowing how to date at any age comes with its challenges, but it is not all doom and gloom. Having clarity over what you want means that you can take the wins and losses in your stride saving yourself from heartbreakers and timewasters.
Being over a certain age does not mean its too late to get your dating life off the ground. Your 30s are the greatest- you’ve left behind the turmoil of your twenties, you’re richer, more world-wise and much more headstrong. Get yourself out there and enjoy life.
*contributed post*
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