If a loved one is living with a serious condition or illness, you’ve probably found that you’re worrying about your family a lot more than usual. Illness takes a toll on the whole family, and can be especially difficult for children to understand. Whether someone you love is being treated for cancer, or have a relative in a meth detox and addiction treatment center, here are some ways to help your family cope.
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It can be easy to put all your focus on helping the ill person. While, of course, they will need support, remember that you can’t help someone if you aren’t taking proper care of yourself. It’s important to help your family find healthy ways to cope, so they’re a better source of support for the one who needs it most. It’s not selfish to prioritize self-care at this difficult time.
Encourage everyone to make sure they get enough sleep and take some time for themselves. It’s important to take this time to rest, as all that worry can be exhausting. If you’re well rested, you’ll have a better chance at staying positive about the difficult situation you’re in.
Where possible, try to stick to regular meal times when you can, and encourage everyone to eat healthy meals. If you’re properly fuelled, you’ll have better tools to manage. Cooking bulk meals in advance and freezing them can help with this. If someone in the house turns to sugary snacks for comfort, put the cookie jar away and instead make sure there are healthy snacks on hand. Keep the fruit bowl topped up and stock the kitchen cupboards with healthier options like dried fruit, nuts or rice crackers.
Try and maintain a regular exercise routine. Endorphins released during exercise can help you to better manage stress and reduce anxiety. Encourage the rest of the family to do the same by finding active things to do together, like walks or bike rides at the weekend.
Ask Questions
Ask questions. If you go with your relative to visit the Doctor, don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions. It’s better to ask the Doctor and understand what’s happening than to rely on your friend or loved one to explain everything to you. If you think of questions between appointments, write them down so you don’t forget them.
Be Prepared For Difficult Times
You may find your loved one’s behaviour changes, and it’s important to be braced for this. They may be sad, frustrated or angry. However they change, try not to take it personally, even if they appear to be angry with you. Stress, pain, medication and withdrawal can all make people behave quite differently.
Let them talk to you about how they feel, but don’t push any blame their way. Instead, after a difficult visit, talk about how you feel with the rest of the family. Let children honestly express how they feel, even if they’re angry or upset after a tricky visit with a sick grandparent. Let them know it’s okay to feel this way, as treatment can be hard on everyone.
Don’t back away from your own feelings either. If you’re telling your loved ones to be honest, lead by example and do the same. Try to stay positive, but don’t bottle up negative emotions.
Support Each Other
For those of you who aren’t ill, it’s important to be a support to each other. Try and take some time to do normal things together, like visiting the park or having a movie night. Set aside time to sit down together and discuss how you feel. Be honest with each other and help each other to come up with coping techniques.
Open conversation is one of the best ways to cope with any difficult situation, so make time for these talks, even if they’re painful.
Be Practical
When you’re dealing with something as painful as illness, it can be easy for the practical side of life to take a back seat. Give yourself some breathing room by trying to get organised in advance. For example, if you know that after visiting your relative at the hospital, you come home very upset, prepare some things to help you out. This could be batch cooking meals on a good day, so you don’t have to contend with cooking when you get home, and can instead pull something healthy and tasty out of the freezer. It could be making nice plans with the family for that evening to look forward to, or just buying in a favourite treat.
Try and stay on top of practical tasks at home, and get ahead of them on days when you feel positive. That way, on days when things are more difficult, you don’t have to worry that ignoring the chores will result in a pile-up of dishes and laundry. Recruit the whole family to break up the chores and make staying on top of everyday life and its demands that bit easier.
Manage Stress The Right Way
Coping with illness is always stressful. Try to manage that stress with healthy techniques. Talking, exercise and mediation can all be effective, and are healthy ways to ease the tension. Don’t turn to things like alcohol to help, as this will only make the problem worse.
If the family are struggling to cope, consider booking some time as a group to see a counsellor. A counsellor can talk through with you the worries you have, and teach you better coping techniques and ways to help and support each other.
A support group for families in your situation could also be helpful to you, as you can talk to others who are going through the same experiences. If you can’t find a group you can attend in person, search for a group online. There are many groups, forums and message boards online like this. Try a few to find the best option for you, and for the rest of the family.
*contributed post*
Happy Sunday friends! It is hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day of September! In some ways the days seem to move so slowly, and then other times it feels like they fly by. Today I am so excited to share my book, movie, and TV review with y'all for September! Before I start though- if you have any suggestions for me for October please let me know! I am constantly looking for new ideas so please pass on your suggestions!
Books
{one}Becoming Us
I have shared so many times here on the blog about my love of Robin Jones Gunn's writings and so when her newest book was released in May I was so excited to read it. I hesitated simply because I typically dislike "first person" writing but decided to give it a try because of how much I love her books. I am so glad I did because in my opinion this book was one of the best ones that Robin has ever written. I took away so many precious nuggets from the story, cried and laughed through it and was completely encouraged. My tender heart walked away full and I can't wait for more of the books in this series. You can find it to purchase HERE.
Similar book recommendations that I have read and would recommend to this book:
Also by Robin Jones Gunn, this series (not written in first person *smiles*) is incredibly sweet and encouraging. You can read the books in any order but they do loosely follow and build on each other if you want to read them in order.
{two} Canon Rebel T7
At the beginning of the summer my older camera that I loved completely died. I had been nursing it to make it last for a few months and had looked at getting it repaired but in the long run the repair would cost more than purchasing a newer model. After a lot of reading and researching I decided to invest in the Canon Rebel T7. I found a great deal for the price for the entire kit on Amazon (HERE) and knew that I wanted to use the camera to the fullest so I decided to purchase this book too. I found the book helpful and if you want to spend the time to really understand everything your camera can do than I definitely recommend it! If you want to check it out you can find the book HERE.
{three} Business Boutique
Business Boutique, (something I have mentioned before on the blog) is one that I saw on a friend's instagram feed that I decided to check out. There is SO much helpful and practical advice that I have finished reading it but am constantly working my way back through it to put into practice all of the information that she is sharing. If you are looking at becoming any type of entrepreneur than this book is chocked full of helpful tips and wisdom that you will want to explore. You can find it HERE!
{four} A Grace Disguised
Grief is a funny beast that rears its ugly head in so many ways and I have sometimes found it comforting to read books on grief by people that have gone through it and then other times I have not wanted to spend time reading books on grief. I think for each person it is different and unique and it really depends on different things going on. Across the course of research I kept hearing about this book, A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser who had suffered the tragic loss of his wife, a daughter, and his mom in one horrific car accident a couple of decades ago. I purchased the book and found quite honestly that some things were helpful, but that other things would be more beneficial as time continues. Jerry wrote the book several years after the accident and it is easy to see that there has been a "space" between the immediate grief to the long-term grief. If you are walking through grief you may want to check this book out. You can find it HERE.
{five} Backing Hitler
There were so many different books to read for my graduate course, but I am mentioning this one, Backing Hitler because it was probably the most thought-provoking book that I have read. It was challenging in a deep soul way as the author makes the point that many German people (and people across Europe) excused and participated in the crimes against people and humanity because they viewed Hitler as their perfect leader. The author makes his point that while some did not know the end result (the Holocaust) the beginning actions that were excused led to the final outcome. The book makes you think deeply about what we allow in our lives, in our communities, and in our country and what we excuse and shouldn't. It truly was one of the most challenging books. You can find it HERE.
Movies & TV
Life has been so busy that I haven't really been watching to much movies or TV so I am going to save those reviews for next month y'all!
If you are curious about other book reading lists I have done in the past you can find those posts below:
Happy Sunday friends! Thank you so much for reading today! What about you- what have you been watching and reading that you would recommend?
Hi friends! Today I am so excited to share the newest junk journal that is now available in the shop! This adorable The Big Red Apple Junk Journal is now available for purchase! (You can find it HERE!)
I am loving sharing different items that are newly available in the shop each week! I am so excited to start sharing some of the fall, autumn and thanksgiving items, including junk journals that are starting to be listed in the shop! I have a whole fall and thanksgiving section in the shop which you can find HERE!
Starting at the end of October I will start to share some holiday and Christmas items, including junk journals for those who are interested - especially those participating in December Daily.
I found this adorable vintage The Big Red Apple Junior Elf Book a little while ago and have been wanting to use it as a junk journal for some time! I fell in love with the precious pictures, the detailed illustrations, and the vibrant colors and the theme of apples for this time of year. And I also loved the size (it measures approximately 4x6)!
This Junk Journal contains approximately 75 pages that includes gorgeous original book pages, vintage paper, red apple washi tape, and quality coordinating and themed scrapbook paper. You can easily add in pictures, your own ephemera (or choose the option for me to add in some before you receive your junk journal), and quick notes so that you can remember the special days of fall, autumn, or apple picking forever.
If you are interested in this The Big Red Apple Junk Journal can find it HERE. Or if you are interested in looking at other fall and thanksgiving items you can find them HERE!
Want to see a video of this sweet junk journal? Stay tuned for a new video coming soon!
Happy weekend friends! I hope that you have a wonderful day with friends and family!!
This episode resonated and challenged me on a
deeply personal level. Many years ago, I was the recipient of extravagant love,
much like Rosaleen in the midst of my own grief walk. I had always been
beautifully surrounded by a loving and faithfully supportive family that I don’t
take for granted, but when my ex-fiance’ broke off our engagement only a few
days before Christmas in December 2008 and a few short months before we were to
be married, I was living more than 12 hours away from them and found myself losing
my voice due to the pain of darkness.
When the fairy tale dream that I had envisioned with my fiance' came to a shocking and sudden end, I found that people and noise had become a balm to my broken heart. Noise, not ice cream and chocolate as the myth states, had become the thing that I had tried to “fill up” my life with to pass the quiet hours after my teaching day was done. The hours that had once brought so much happiness now stretched silent and sad with long sleepless nights before me.
Noise and my desire for companionship drove me to play countless episodes of old TV shows until I fell asleep at night. Morning talk shows were what I blasted from the first moments of rising each morning and kept me “company” in the early hours of my day and taught me more about pop culture than I had ever known in my entire life. The search to escape grief drove me to throw myself into my teaching career as never before. Despite living an hour and a half away, I arrived at the school by six am most mornings and left approximately fifteen hours later. While some expressed concern, no one knew exactly what to say and so the majority of adults that I worked with gently tried to tiptoe around my broken heart. The gentleness was a loving attempt to share in my grief in their own way.
Unfortunately this led to many stilted conversations and lots of awkward silence. There were precious friends on staff who embraced my messy state and heaped a generous amount of love on me, and yet I needed more. I longed for someone to see beyond the broken shell of a person that I had become and I longed to see love courageously acted out in human form. Most of all, I longed for love to restore my lost voice. Despite the extreme kindness of many people in my life, my family lived over 12 hours away, and I was feeling that I needed the body of Christ in ways that I was unable to express in words.
In many ways I was very similar to Rosaleen… locked in silence and unable to move past what happened despite the loving-kindness that surrounded me. And just like Rosaleen went silent I found myself losing my voice to grief. Unknown to me, and in the opposite way of Rosaleen being helped by a teacher, my unspoken hearts prayer request was about to be answered in the most unlikely of ways- through my students.
One day during my planning period, about 3 weeks after my world came crashing down, I found my classroom surprisingly empty. I glanced around at the quiet room and realized that I needed another distraction from the silence that would last until my next class arrived. I walked out of my room and down the hallway to the third floor student lounge which had gorgeous floor to ceiling picture windows that overlooked the soccer field and surrounding woods. It was a favorite place in the school building and I was surprised to find it empty. I settled into a chair and surveyed the still winter scene outside and ironically considered how similar it was to everything that was in my life. Just like outside, everything looked dead in my life.
As I sat pondering this scene I didn't hear Paul, one of my senior students, come in and settle in on a chair beside me. As it dawned on me that he was there, I felt the teacher side of me kick in and I looked for something "brilliant" to say. In the haze of my own grief and pain, I was dimly aware that the holidays must have been just as difficult for Paul as they were for me, due to some family situations, but for the life of me I was once again at a loss for words.
"This view is amazing. I never get tired of it." I heard him say. I nodded and he hesitated and then continued. "How was your holiday, Ms. V?"
"Short," I replied, my voice laced with sadness. Even though I had only been back for three days it seemed like years.
“Ms. V-” He interrupted my thoughts, and I turned to look
at him as I realized he was hesitating. “Ms. V,” he said again. “I am so sorry.”
As I glanced away and back out at the winter scene outside the window and then back at the young man sitting beside me, I realized that my cheeks were wet with silent tears. “Thank you,” I whispered.
As I glanced away and back out at the winter scene outside the window and then back at the young man sitting beside me, I realized that my cheeks were wet with silent tears. “Thank you,” I whispered.
For the
first time, someone outside my family and best friends had acknowledged the
pain I was going through. Not in a way of making it better but with four simple
words that acknowledged the deep hurt I was feeling and gave me room to grieve.
Those four precious words were uttered from someone who had done nothing to
cause the pain but instead chose to step into the pain.
I am not sure how long we sat there in silence that day before the bell rang,
but I do remember the feeling of peace filling the silent space that had crept
into my heart because a senior decided to look outside of themselves and reach
out to their teacher whose life been seemingly shattered. It’s ironic because
in many ways, nothing changed that day, but in other ways, everything changed.
The need for noise to numb the pain was gone and it was replaced with a peace
that had been lost since the night my life had shattered.
Often times, all we need is someone to come and sit with us and say “I am so sorry”. It might seem like it is not enough but trust me- it can change everything. The minute you choose to extend grace, kindness, and love to another hurting human being something powerful happens. The light of that beautiful and gentle love restores the lost voice.
Often times, all we need is someone to come and sit with us and say “I am so sorry”. It might seem like it is not enough but trust me- it can change everything. The minute you choose to extend grace, kindness, and love to another hurting human being something powerful happens. The light of that beautiful and gentle love restores the lost voice.
That year was living proof of this to me. After that conversation, there were
countless ways that love was physically expressed by this senior class for the
remainder of the year. At a time that could have been one of the most selfish
times in their lives, these seniors poured consistent, practical, and personal
love into my life.
There were hundreds of letters of encouragement, students who convinced me to take up running after school when I just felt like sitting, countless cups of coffee, little notes left on my desk, in books, and in my car, gifts of music that were filled with uplifting and encouraging words, DVDs given, Katharine who called me “beautiful” when I looked anything but, invitations to eat lunch so that I never ate alone, many jokes and pranks played that brought laughter, Starbucks gift cards, money for a new car when mine died, invitations to weekend outings (including Valentine’s Day) and hundreds of Dutch Blitz games simply because I once said I liked it.
Whether it was a conspiracy between all of them or a simple plan to care that morphed and grew, those simple yet precious acts of love changed my life and brought back my voice.
There were hundreds of letters of encouragement, students who convinced me to take up running after school when I just felt like sitting, countless cups of coffee, little notes left on my desk, in books, and in my car, gifts of music that were filled with uplifting and encouraging words, DVDs given, Katharine who called me “beautiful” when I looked anything but, invitations to eat lunch so that I never ate alone, many jokes and pranks played that brought laughter, Starbucks gift cards, money for a new car when mine died, invitations to weekend outings (including Valentine’s Day) and hundreds of Dutch Blitz games simply because I once said I liked it.
Whether it was a conspiracy between all of them or a simple plan to care that morphed and grew, those simple yet precious acts of love changed my life and brought back my voice.
It
has been a decade- ten years- since those precious students changed my life and yet
while our lives have continued on, I am reminded of that year often with simple
gratitude and a heart full of incredible thanks as that year has influenced me
deeply, even to this day.
In what
could have been the worst year of my life, I truly only remember with a fond
and humble smile. With a smile that knows and understands what it means to be
the recipient of incredible love and kindness here on earth and with a humble
heart that has seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living despite
the hard. Without a doubt, a circumstance that brought me so much pain was the
backdrop for a beautiful time in my life. When I felt like Rosaleen, standing
in the dark mine looking ahead and seeing only darkness, my own group of
"Elizabeth's" showed up with the light of love.
I have been thinking about that year and this episode a lot recently,
especially with all of the turmoil surrounding our world right now. I think we
all want to change our worlds and we all have great and big programs and ideas,
but what changes peoples lives isn't often the planned out programs or things.
Instead, it is the intricate and personal way of loving people directly. It's
stepping into the darkness with the hurting and the broken-hearted and lovingly
and personally reminding them that they are not alone. It is gently reminding them that their story at this
crisis point season in their lives is not the end of their story.
We each have the beautiful opportunity to remind someone that their worst days
are not the end of their story as we bring the light of God into
someone's life. Sometimes it is sitting and just listening. Other times it
is offering a word of encouragement. Sometimes its saying the simple words of "I'm sorry" when you are not to blame. Sometimes
its taking the time to listen to a friend say, "Please help my little
girl" like Molly did.
Sometimes its understanding in wisdom that we can encourage our children to
embrace the brokenhearted along with us.
The gift that the parents of that senior class gave me was priceless. Those
parents gave me the gift of healing so that one circumstance would not be the
definition of the rest of my life. And those parents perhaps taught their
senior aged children the most important lesson before they graduated, the gift
of lovingly embracing the brokenhearted.
Mother Theresa once said, "Do
you want to change the world? Go home and love your family." Let's
do that today. Let's go home and love the family that is before us. Let's lovingly bring the light of love to those who have lost
their voice and let's love the people right in front of us. Do you realize
that you could
be the person to help change the course of someone's life? You can. Do you
realize that your personal and practical love can have a huge effect on the
community at large? It will. I beautifully witnessed this myself as out of the
love that these students poured out on to my life, the entire school community
was influenced. It truly was a
piece of heaven on earth and sweet friends, I promise you will see that happen
too. We have the opportunity to beautifully create a "Hope Valley"
right where we are in our lives, in our families, in our communities, and in
our world, because the light of love truly does restore every lost voice.
"The Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end."
-Isaiah 61:20-
"The Spirit of God...is on me... He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken...God sent me to announce the year of His grace... and to comfort all who mourn, to care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, messages of joy instead of news of doom."
-Isaiah
61:1-3, The Message-
This story remains incredibly precious to me even a decade later. I share more details of that year and other stories in my book December Caravan. You can find it where books are sold and on Amazon by clicking HERE.
This story remains incredibly precious to me even a decade later. I share more details of that year and other stories in my book December Caravan. You can find it where books are sold and on Amazon by clicking HERE.
*Please note that the quotes used in these weekly devotionals are the sole intellectual property of Hallmark Channel, WCTH, & Crown Media, LLC. These on-line posts are in no way supported, endorsed, or affiliated with WCTH, Hallmark Channel, or Crown Media. They are simply encouragement inspired by Janette Oke and this precious show.*
Traveling adventures require countdowns and excitement - there’s a lot of build up that goes into a trip! You spend months and weeks counting down the days until the moment you leave the house to get going, so the worst thing that can possibly happen isn't missing the flight, losing your luggage or breaking down on the road - it’s getting sick. It doesn't matter whether you head to the pre-travel vaccination clinics, pack all the hand sanitizer and bring a mountain of tissues with you, you can still get caught by flus and colds. And it sucks when it attacks before you’ve even gotten started.
The positive news is that there is a lot that you can do to make illness while traveling much less disruptive. It’s something that you can plan for, which is a good thing as then you can be prepared if you do get struck by illness along the way. With travel insurance and a plan, you are rocking and rolling. A nasty cold at the very least can ruin a few days of your trip, and when you’re already at your destination, it can feel too late to do anything about it. Headaches, muscle aches, throat infections - they all require a little TLC when they occur. Knowing where the local doctors’ offices and hospitals are is just the beginning, so let’s look at how you can cope with sickness while you’re traveling, so you can be forewarned and forearmed!
Get Travel Insurance.
You should always consider getting travel insurance when you go traveling. You are going to another country and anything can happen, so covering your back is the smart thing to do. The moment that your symptoms go from small niggles to full blown illnesses needing the help of ear, nose, throat doctors, you’ll be glad that you took out that policy before you left. Make sure that your travel insurance policy includes all medical coverage, just in case you need to be in hospital for a while.
It can be what you need to cover special flights home if you miss your flight, and it doesn't take long to get an insurance policy and for a few dollars a day, you can save potentially thousands of dollars. Medical care out of pocket is not cheap, especially if you haven't got the savings built up. With travel insurance, you may even get cover with extensive medical care, and not just ER care. Always check the small print so that you know everything.
Choose The Right Clinic.
This is one of the most important things to do before you go. If you’re country-hopping, make sure that you have the details of a clinic to attend in every place that you go. You need to ensure that you have a clinic that would take your travel insurance medical cover as payment. If you’re in a country without any internet and you’re on the road when you get sick, you can speak to your country’s embassy - yet another thing to check up on before you go traveling.
Never Wait To Be Seen.
You’re in a foreign place, with foreign food and foreign water symptoms. If you start to feel sick or fluey, don’t brush it off and try to power through it. If you’re traveling during known flu seasons, you are more prone to sickness in areas like the plane. There are also areas of the world that debilitating diseases are more likely to occur. Think Zika virus, Dengue fever, etc. These always start out with symptoms such as fever and nausea, and they need to be checked into quickly if these symptoms start. Waiting around to see if you’ll get better could mean you’re going to get worse, and you’ll be missing out on crucial medical help where it counts. If it’s the flu, you need medication early and you don’t want to miss the window for treatment if it’s anything more serious than that!
Listen To Yourself.
You know your body better than everybody. Once you have a diagnosis of an illness, listen to the advice you’ve been given by your doctor and listen to your body at the same time. Slow down your travel plans and get well if necessary, as your immune system needs time to recover and recuperate. Avoid the possible risky situations that you could get into, such as exposure to extreme temperatures for too long and drinking the tap water in a foreign place. Keep your immune system as strong as possible with much hydration and rest and get some sleep!
Staying hydrated with bottled water on your travels will help you to keep your body hydrated and staying out of the sun in the height of the day will keep your body regulated. You prevent overexertion where possible, especially when you feel symptoms beginning. Sleep is one of the most important things that you can do when feeling rough, as it will keep your body from pushing further and begin the healing process. Along with sleep, warm baths and hot water with lemon drinks can help, too! Especially for flu - your body will thank you for it as time goes on and you start to feel better again.
Talk To Your Doctor At Home.
No matter where you are in the world, you need to let your primary care doctor back home know what’s going on. Keep them in the loop, especially if you have needed hospital care while abroad. You don't need to run up a huge phone bill with updates, but you can drop an email and let them know what’s going on - just in case you need some added support when you do eventually get home.
Being on the road and getting sick can be a tough thing to take, but if you are armed with enough knowledge on the local medical care, doctors and clinics, you can be seen quickly and recover just as fast. Ideally, you’ll get better very quickly and be able to continue your vacation!
*contributed post*
Happy Saturday friends and happy (almost) official fall! Today I am so excited to share with you one of the cute fall additions to the shop! This travelers notebook insert is perfect for all of the donut and pumpkin spice lovin girls! Sweetly showing signs of fall colors and everything fall foody this travelers notebook insert is a perfect gift or treasure for yourself! This adorable Fall Travelers Notebook Insert is now available for purchase! (You can find it HERE!)
I love creating different journals for the fall and this sweet Fall Travelers Notebook Insert is the perfect little companion for this time of the year! This adorable insert will fit perfectly into your travelers notebook and comes with approximately 10 (20 double sided) blank kraft colored pages.
This Fall Travelers Notebook Insert is the perfect notebook to carry in your purse or even fit in your wallet if you have a larger size wallet (like a travelers wallet).
This Fall Travelers Notebook Insert turned out so sweet y'all and I loved the combination of the colors. I love the turquoise-mint green with the classic orange and brown fall colors that I am seeing shown for this season! Don't y'all love that? I love that it gives it a bit of a feminine touch to the classic fall rustic colors that is timeless.
If you are interested in purchasing the Fall Travelers Notebook Insert you can find it HERE. Over the next couple of weeks I will be adding more fall items to the shop! If you are interested in looking at other fall items that are in the shop you can find them in the fall and thanksgiving section of the shop by clicking HERE!
Happy Saturday friends! I hope that you have a wonderful day!
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