a new season and stage in the Lyme journey

Dear friends and loved ones, I so appreciate y'alls patience and kindness as I have been busy these last several weeks experiencing an exciting season of adventure. It has been a whirl-wind and I have so appreciated your prayers, your love, and your support during this special time. 

I know that so many of you have been asking for an update beyond my IG pictures and are curious to know how my health has been really holding up. I do not take it lightly that there are so many of you that have prayed numerous prayers, spend hours upon hours laboring on your knees for me, or that you daily are begging the Lord for complete healing. You are such a blessing in this very long journey. I appreciate more than words can express your kind patience as I have been balancing treatment and a bit of "real life" for the first time in four years. Thank you for your gracious love in this journey.

In saying all of that I wanted to take a few minutes to give an update on how things have been and what the next 11 days will look like. I have received numerous emails and facebook messages congratulating me on the fact that I am now healed from Lyme because I am looking "so good". First, thank you. That is so incredibly sweet of each of you and your love for me and your hope for my complete healing is a blessing. Unfortunately though at this particular point, healing has not completed happened. Yet. The last couple of weeks have provided several interesting adventures, travel, and writing assignments (including travel to the sweet south after being in the north, seeing dear friends, my sisters wedding, and a writing free-lance job on a cruise) and has given me the opportunity to have a bit of a short break from intensive IV treatment each and everyday. Unfortunately it has also taken me away from my supplemental treatments (including acupuncture, reflexology, IV nutritional therapies, nurses and doctors who are familiar with Lyme, etc.) and my body is very much looking forward to returning to each of these therapies and support system. 

In addition to this I have also added in several new supplements and upped other ones, started two new oral medications, and worked on some other antibiotics as well in addition to working on some intensive detox protocols. I still am taking my 225 pills a day, still getting stuck (albeit a bit less), and still doing everything else I mentioned HERE. As all Lymies well know, there is never a break from treatment or trying to beat this disease during the fight. On the flip side, I have always taken the opportunities that are presented to live life fully as much as possible. It is a constant balancing act, a learning process, and I know from the outside it can be confusing to see a "healthy looking person"  that is still very sick and be curious about what is going on. 

I also know, as I explained in a post last year, that y'all understand this balance and my thoughts about answering the "but you don't act sick statements". I have received criticism on both sides of the fence recently- those who are other chronically ill/seriously ill patients who feel that showing more of the beauty and joy robs the story of what being sick looks like, and those who are healthy wondering why I still talk about being sick if I am able to go do the things I have been doing recently. 

I really don't have a perfect answer for either side. I just know that I am trying my best to heal, to take one day at a time, and to live life fully as I can even in this stage of life. This almost weird - "pre-healed" stage. A stage that has given me improvement where I don't have to spend every day- all day in bed, but I still sleep for 12 hours at night and about 6 hours during the day. A stage that has allowed me to laugh more than cry due to the pain being a bit better. A stage that has provided me the opportunity to connect deeper with friends, be out in public a bit more, and to enjoy and participate in some real life activities. (Most exciting thing a couple of weeks ago? Going to the grocery store for the first time in about 3 years. It was a bit overwhelming and yet wonderful.) The opportunity to drive again. The opportunity to spend time with dear friends. The opportunity to dream. The opportunity to live a bit more. 

But it is also still a stage of knowing that I am still very sick. So behind the scenes, with my most trusted circle and tribe they see me getting up to take vitamins, meds, etc. and eat briefly and do detox baths before going back to sleep again. It is seeing me be able to enjoy several things but be completely exhausted and heading to bed at 5 or 6pm. It is them seeing me laugh and enjoy parts of the cruise in between my 7 hour naps that were spent inside the cabin in a darkened room due to migraines. It is them receiving text messages of "please pray" for pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, nausea, sickness, etc. at all hours of the night still. 

And most of all... it is the love of so many of you offering grace and cheering me on in this new stage of this journey. I am not healed yet, I am doing so much better, and healing everyday, and yet I am still in the fight. Slowly and surely God is healing and each and everyday I am so incredibly grateful. 

SO today there continues to be the mixture of hard and good that I have talked so much about. Tears and rejoicing for the pain and for the progress. Struggling with issues and what is coming up and yet trusting that grace that has met me each step of the way so far will once again meet me in the days ahead as the God of love bids me to trust Him in new ways. 

We are currently in the packing again stage these days. We are ending this brief season of adventure that I have loved, treasured, and laughed and cried through. It has been incredibly difficult in many ways and wonderfully refreshing in others. This Thursday my mom and I fly out for one last bit of adventure for a couple of days to a beautiful gift and present (that I can't wait to share more about) and then we will fly on the 5th to my main medical doctors office where I will spend a few days with them doing a variety of things. We will return to the north on the 8th and I will officially start treatment round #4 that had to be delayed earlier this fall on December 12th. It will be intense and difficult and yet, part of me is dreading it and part of me is ready to fight more deeply... and most of all no matter my feelings... it is the next step. 

I so appreciate your continued prayers for each step that is coming up and I also appreciate your continued prayers for all of the financial means to come in for this trip for my doctors appointment. Each step of this journey is always so faithfully provided for and we are confident that this appointment will be provided for again, but I would covet your prayers for this area. A HUGE thank you to dear Esther and Doug for your beautiful contribution a little bit ago that will help to pay for the doctors appointment!

A Few Specific Prayer Requests:

1. Lodging in California for Doctors Appointment
Please join us in praying for specific lodging issues to be worked out and finances for this portion of the trip with a specific hotel. Due to my environmental allergies we can only stay in specific places and we covet your prayers for this portion of the trip specifically.

2. For Wisdom at my Doctors Appointment
We are in desperate need of some wisdom for a couple of specific areas of my health and we would love prayers that this appointment would be filled with wisdom on the best next steps for these areas. Thank you!

3. For Finances to be provided
As mentioned above we are praying that all of the finances would be provided that we need for this trip. Thank you so much for joining us in prayer. 

4. For health and safety as we travel
We so appreciate your prayers as we travel and for my health during this time!

5. For My Upcoming Book Release, "When Truth Refreshes"
This book was one of my most personal and difficult books to write and it releases on December 27th. Would you please pray for this book and those who will read it? You can find out more about it HERE.

6. For Relief of Some Difficult Symptoms
For the past several weeks I have been experiencing some incredibly difficult and scary symptoms and I would covet your prayers that those would be removed. Thank you!

Words can't express how grateful I am for all of your kind support and love during this time. Thank you again for all of your support, love, and prayers especially in this new stage and season. Each of you are a blessing!

With Love,