"The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength."
-2 Timothy 4:17-
I have been staring at my computer screen the last couple of days wondering what to say. I think I felt that if I kept staring some brilliant words would come to me to try and express all of the different emotions and things that we are dealing with, and I still feel so "wordless" so I appreciate your patience in this possibly rambling post.
These past few weeks since having "Courtney the Portney" placed have been a growing and stretching time for my entire family, including myself. After returning from our trip out to California to have "Courtney the Portney" placed and finding out some blood work results, I started in a new treatment round. Unfortunately due to some logistical matters, it came with some bumps in the road. At the same time though this allowed me to start working on taking a variety of different meds and supplements, get adjusted to having a port, find and get situated with who would be taking care of "Courtney the Portney" here at home, and work with the insurance company and five different pharmacies to obtain the main medicine that will comprise this treatment round. (This treatment round is being labeled "treatment round #3" although I am continuously treating Lyme. If you are new around here I have simply nicknamed different rounds #1, #2, #3 when there is a more SERIOUS push and intensity. Someone recently emailed me and asked what I do in my time "off" and nicely suggested that if I wouldn't take time off I would get better more quickly. I laughed, there is absolutely NO time off in Lyme world! *smiles*)
The medicine has been ordered and we are stepping out in major ways of faith that we will be able to pay for it. To give you a figure- the cost of the medicine for a month is $25000. Yes, you read that correctly and yes, that is the correct number of 0's. And that is just for one month. Am I concerned? A bit. Am I worried. Honestly, no. I have seen the Lord provide in miraculous ways and I am trusting that He who brought us to this point will again provide everything we need. Currently we are looking at a three month protocol and while the number of $75,000 PLUS all of the "normal" costs of approximately $15000 a month overwhelm me. I am resting in the fact that the Lord stands by my side and will once again provide just as He always has and always will.
SO treatment round #3- the precursor days started on Friday (while I was in Nebraska) and began a bit rough and on this Friday I will begin the full force of this treatment round. Basically this entails for this treatment round continuing all of my supplements, meds, herbs, oils, alternative treatments, shots, etc. that I am already doing and will be adding in the very expensive medicine (which is about a 4-6 hour IV of meds) every single day. I will do this for 5 weeks and will have a week break off (of just the IV meds) and then will continue for another 7 weeks after that. This intense plan will be difficult on my fragile system but we are also looking forward to the steps forward we will be making in this fight for my health!
This medicine is.... rough. It is difficult. It is scary. It comes with a whole host of side effects that I don't want to think about... and in many ways I wish we could just fast forward the weeks on the calendar till this round is done.
"The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength."
But the truth of I Timothy 4:17 shouts to my little heart and gives me strength. The Lord is by our side. The Lord is the one who gives us strength for the day. He is the lifter of our heads, our strength in the sorrow, and our joy in our pain. He will carry me each step of the way and show up with grace that I haven't even experienced yet.
Thank you so much for your prayers, your encouragement, your love, your messages, your letters and packages that show up at the most perfect God-timing and your continued prayers on this very long journey. In addition to praying for the start of this treatment round, there are a few additional prayer requests that we have:
(1) Prayers for "Courtney the Portney".
(1) Prayers for "Courtney the Portney".
As some of you are aware, we had a bit of a scare with "Courtney the Portney" about 10 days ago, a few days before I left for Nebraska. I would covet prayers that the Lord would protect this port, that it would work completely perfectly (specifically giving blood return, no access issues, etc.) for this upcoming treatment round. This is an area of stress and anxiety for me so I appreciate your prayers for this. One of the doctors appointments I have scheduled (on Monday, the 8th) will be discussing some options in regards to "Courtney the Portney" and we covet prayers for wisdom.
(2) Prayers for Upcoming Doctors Appointments.
Due to the issue with "Courtney the Portney" and some routine doctors appointments, August will be filled with lots of doctors visits. Some of these appointments I am a bit concerned about - and some will have some painful and invasive testing associated with them which is not fun. In the midst of this intense treatment round I am not looking forward to these appointments and yet am grateful for a team of wise doctors. Please cover specifically appointments that will take place on Monday August 8th, Monday August 15th, and Monday, August 29th. Thank you!
(3) For prayers for pain.
(4) For Nausea to be relieved and my appetite to return
This month began year 4 of this journey at home with my parents and this long healing journey. They have been soooo incredibly amazing and I well up with tears at all that they have done for me and to help me get my life back. But being a caretaker is hard even under the best of circumstances and it is draining and exhausting and long and tiring. Would you please pray for them, for strength, for grace, for encouragement, for people to walk along side them, for their needs to be met, for their joy, and for their protection and their own health? Thank you so much.
(6) For Finances to Be Met for all of my Treatment Needs.
(2) Prayers for Upcoming Doctors Appointments.
Due to the issue with "Courtney the Portney" and some routine doctors appointments, August will be filled with lots of doctors visits. Some of these appointments I am a bit concerned about - and some will have some painful and invasive testing associated with them which is not fun. In the midst of this intense treatment round I am not looking forward to these appointments and yet am grateful for a team of wise doctors. Please cover specifically appointments that will take place on Monday August 8th, Monday August 15th, and Monday, August 29th. Thank you!
(3) For prayers for pain.
This treatment round has caused a ton of pain already and I would covet prayers for the removal of this.
(4) For Nausea to be relieved and my appetite to return
This pre-cursor round and this treatment has caused a ton of issues with nausea and sickness and my appetite has been completely wiped out and unfortunately is predicted to stay this way. I am not going to go into details, but would appreciate prayers for this area.
(5) For prayers for my parents.
(6) For Finances to Be Met for all of my Treatment Needs.
I mentioned above the guilt that I feel as a sick gal needing to ask for prayer for this area and yet I know so many of you faithfully cover me in prayer so I do need prayer for this area. If you are interested in financially donating you can find my "Go Fund Me Page" on the left side of the blog and I so appreciate your prayers as I humbly mention this need.
Most of all thank you thank you thank you for your incredible love and prayers that continue to carry me through this journey. I can't tell you how much of a blessing you are and how I see the Lord answer hundreds upon hundreds of daily prayers each and every day. I am reminded by so many of you that we have a God who stands by us and gives us strength. He is so incredibly good. Despite the hard, despite the pain, God's character never changes. Thank you for crying with me friends, rejoicing in the good, and all of your prayers that continue to help carry me each and everyday through the very difficult. You are a blessing that words can not describe,
With Love,
1 comment
I will definitely be praying for you. I know what you mean by no time off from Lyme...it's a scary disease! The treatments have always been expensive for me, but I haven't tried IV yet. We are looking into it but who knows where the path will lead me. Sending you good vibes and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xx
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