6 Ways to Stop the Comparison Game and Love Your Blog

Last week I shared "5 Ways to Stop the Comparison Game and Love Your Life". Although I only received a few comments in public on the post I received many more emails with people expressing the difficulty that they have with comparing their not only their life, but their blog and social media lives to someone else and asking how to overcome the envy or comparison game in that specific area. I am not an expert but as I am coming up on my third year of blogging in January, am entering my fourth fall of being primarily home bound, living with my parents, and having nothing that resembles a "normal" life at my age, I have learned a lot of lessons (the hard way) regarding the topic of comparison, especially in bloggy world (as I affectionately call it). Here are six tips that I use and hope it will encourage you to stop the comparison game and love your blog and social media life:

1. Write for You. 

I shared this in my "two year blogging advice" post in January, but it truly is one of the best ways to stop the comparison game and love your own blog and social media presence. Write about what you are passionate about, what you are processing, what you are struggling with, what makes you cry and laugh, and share your heart with the world. So MANY bloggers that I knew at the beginning of this journey that were writing and now don't told me that they simply got burned out because they tried to fit into a "mold" to get a following. Write for you and I promise that while you may hit "writers block" or feel like you have nothing to say, you will not feel burned out and you will not feel that you have to compare your blog to someone else's. 

Look as a writer I can tell you that there is always going to be someone that can write better, take better photos, is funnier, smarter, etc, etc, etc. If you spend all of your energy on comparing yourself to someone else instead of sharing your story and your blog we as your readers will miss out on an incredible opportunity. Your story matters. Your blog matters. 

2. Don't try to "fit in" Where You Are not Welcome. 

I have received so many emails from bloggers who feel "left out" in blogging world. Honestly for as much as I read about building community in bloggy world, I receive triple the amount of emails from ladies who are hurt because they can't seem to "fit in". Honestly, trying to fit in can sometimes feel like an episode of mean girls. Let's be honest. I have had this happen to me so many times in bloggy world where I have approached some "well known" bloggers and tried to collaborate with them for certain projects. Y'all, I have been told everything in the books: "I would love to, but your not married" or "Your social media following is not big enough" or "You just don't have artistic talent" or "Your blog is too small for my following" or my "favorite one": "Your following is just not big enough to have an impact for Jesus"... and the list goes on and on and on. 

A couple of years ago this saying went around bloggy world and there is a ring of truth to it- hahaha!

Yes, there have been a few tears behind the scenes, but instead of trying to fit in where we are not welcome and compare ourselves to a certain "bloggy standard" (that the rest of the world who is not blogging doesn't understand!) lets focus on our lives, our blogs, our friendships, and our dreams for our websites. Don't take it personally (yes, it hurts) but instead move on and create your own welcoming circle of encouraging each other in this crazy process. 

3. Limit Social Media

I shared this last week and some of you bloggers have your mouth dropped open that I would even suggest to limit social media. But y'all, when I shared the statistics of how much time is spent on social media, I am going to suggest again that part of the issue with dealing with comparing our blog lives to others is the amount of precious time we give to social media, looking at other bloggers "perfect" lives.

Look, as I said last week, I love social media, especially with fighting for my health right now because it allows me to connect with others outside my home, stay in close contact with friends and family, and make new friendships. From a work standpoint (which is how I approach my blog) I can also book speaking engagements, run a boutique and an etsy shop from my home, and promote my books that I have authored. 

BUT, I am the first one to say that I am very very purposeful with how I spend my time in regards to social media. Because I treat my blog (and its components - which social media is one) as a business, I schedule the amount of time that I am on my social media sites. I also take purposeful time away from social media on Sundays, as I shared in my post about my "old fashioned Sundays". At first I would time myself with this area to get into a habit and not it is just second nature. I really suggest in my blog tips and advice organizing time each week (not each day) on various social media sites, I also highly recommend limiting the amount of social media sites you are on. As I said last week I do believe that you can have a health balance with using social media for your blog, but if you are struggling with the comparison game than taking a step back from social media can be a really helpful tool. Instead of spending hours looking at how great someone else's life "supposedly is" build into your own life and blog.

4. Develop a mission statement.  

One piece of advice that I give all bloggers who ask me is to develop a "mission statement" for your blog. For me, Caravan Sonnet, only posts blog posts that "strive to encourage people to grow in their relationship with the Lord, inspire people to live life fully and beautifully, and posts that would encourage others to take the time to delight in the beauty of ordinary days". Under this I have decided that the topics that I post about will be about travel, health, scripture, creativity, my writing, and my shop. This mission statement sometimes morphs and changes in a few minor ways, but it has helped me make the decision of what I will and won't do in bloggy world. Its made it incredibly easy to turn down certain offers and collaborations and opened the doors to lasting friendships and a blog that I know I would want to read forty years down the road. I truly believe having a mission statement also helps remove the feelings of comparison as you focus on your calling for your blog and not someone else's. 

5. Make Decisions for You and Your Blog. 

I really believe that you need to make decisions for you and your blog alone. This will save you tons of time in comparing yourself to another blogger. Remember your mission statement and make decisions for your blog depending on your mission statement. There is sometimes a "big conversation" about whether you need to have your blog be "a hobby" or "a business". After blogging for a couple of years now I can honestly say that I see this conversation "come full circle" in bloggy world. Some people will say that you need to "choose" one or the other and that you need to make a huge list of changes for your blog depending on which way you are going to go.

 Honestly, in some very small cases this is true but in reality I have found that figuring out what works for you is always best. When I first started blogging everyone was switching from Wordpress to Blogger. Now? I see it the opposite. I was told by a well-meaning blogger lady last summer that I "HAD" to switch to Wordpress otherwise I had issues and my blog would not be successful. I was in a panic for like 2.2 seconds until I realized that I "didn't have" to do anything. I researched, talked with lots and lots of bloggers who have been around for 4+ years, read tons of information on both sides of the fence, and decided that for me personally I could not afford the financial investment into switching. I shared this with the blogger who had said I "had" to switch and the response I received was "you must not value your blog". Listen, I am really happy for those that can do that, but I have heard from  a lot of bloggers who paid $200+ to make switches between platforms that they never "came out even" with the money. My blog does not make money. I don't sell sponsorships, I take very limited sponsor ads (I accepted three last year) and I don't join in on opportunities where I could make a lot of money with my blog. 

That does not mean that I don't value it. It simply means that I am doing what is best for me and my blog. It makes me so sad to see that I am not the only one who has received "advice" like this. I have seen a lot of great bloggers who have gotten played into this comparison game and ended up getting "burned out" and "frustrated" with blogging because of pressure they feel from others. Listen, I love blogging and use a variety of different sites for different things that I do. I love blogger for right now for my blog, I use squarespace for my personal website, wix for Grace Engaged, and have a very personal and private blog on wordpress. Make decisions that are right for you and your blog - it will save you a lot of comparison and envy time and save a lot of frustration!

6. Don't Worry About Not Having the Financial Resources to Make Your Blog "Successful"

One of the biggest ways that bloggers spend time comparing themselves is in the ability of some bloggers to spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a blog. Most of us do not have that kind of money to spend. From instagram loop giveaways to giveaways on blogs to sponsorships to blog classes to photo editing software to website design to blog conferences to you name it the list goes on and on. Recent studies are showing that many bloggers spend upwards of $5 to $20 thousand dollars a year!!

Y'all if you have that kind of money to spend on your blog that is fine, but for most people that is just not a reality. For me it is absolutely not a reality. Honestly there was a giveaway opportunity that I just had an opportunity to be apart of and the buy in was $2 and I had to turn it down as I am trying to fundraise for my medical trip to California. Yes, I turned down a $2 buy in, because for me right now that is what I have to do. Maybe you are in a similar situation. You read about all of these things that bloggers are doing and spending money on and you wonder if your blog can ever be important if you don't have the financial resources your blog won't be successful. You spend time researching and comparing all of the amazing opportunities other bloggers have because they appear to have more financial capability. 

Stop Worrying. 

I promise that even without all of the things I listed above people are doing your blog can and will have a influence and be successful. If you feel like you want to utilize finances towards your blog why not create a 12 month or 18 month plan to save to get to the conference you want to or to purchase the photo editing software you want? No matter what friends, your blog can have an impact. Don't compare yourself to what someone else can spend, instead continue to develop your blog at your own pace and at a financial budget for you.

6. Give to Others
I said this last week, but this is especially true for bloggy world and the goal to end the comparison game. Give to others. Think of ways that creatively engage your heart and your life and give back to others. Two ways that I do this are through my "buy a book, change a life" program and the newly launched The Novel Garden Crate. 

Give your time in bloggy world too in thoughtful responses to messages, helping new bloggers take off and get started, and support each other. Sometimes it seems that bloggers do not want to help other bloggers because of petty jealous and an the assumption that giving help will diminish their personal "following". HOW sad. Give to others friends and let me assure you that giving changes your perspective. Not just for the person who is the receiver, but for us as the "givers". Your kindness can change the course of someones life and nothing can compare to that friends. 

What are your tips for stopping the comparison game and loving your blog? I would love to hear! 

(PS- I receive a lot of emails asking where this journal came from and where you can purchase it. This is a custom altered sunrise journal that can be found in my Etsy shop HERE!)