I am so excited to have Cindy share her heart today about her experience with Lyme Disease. Cynthia Dainsberg, RN, FCN is the author of "Practical Care Tips for Those in the Lyme Fight- an interactive Care Handbook for Those Battling Lyme Disease and Other Chronic Conditions, with Special Notes to Caregivers", which is available through Amazon. She is such an encouragement to me personally and I am so thankful for her willingness to share with us today!
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Taming a Wild Ride
In a few months, I will be
‘celebrating’ four years of treatment for Late Stage Lyme Disease plus 5 Co-infections.
It was a very long road to getting diagnosed, and it’s been long road in
treatment.
Am I well? No. Am I better? Yes, and no. Yes, many of the
symptoms I’ve experienced have abated, or come less frequently, and with less
intensity. Still, as with many of you, as the layers of Lyme are dealt with, in
addition to keeping Lyme at bay and dealing with the body systems it broke… other
issues are uncovered and must be addressed. (MCS, Mold Toxicity,
life-threatening allergies, food sensitivities….)
Much of my journey
has thrown me onto a perceived intense internal roller-coaster of experiences,
and feelings. Thrilled with a day there
is enough energy to do something fun, besides what ‘has to be done in order to
be and do’- a time to be a life participant.
Other days are arduous, with duty magnified and consuming the day- where
I feel I am just working so hard to do the very minimal to survive.
Interestingly, the
days in which I find myself doing life in horizontal mode, still take me by
surprise, and they cause me to get down and to wonder how long it will last
this time to recover, what will I miss this time… I tell friends I’m down today; they respond
with a cheery note and get about their lives.
I realize my being down isn’t anything new to them; it doesn’t take them
by surprise anymore. How nice it would
be to hear, “Wow, it’s happened again?
I’m sorry to hear that- let me do (something) for you to help. And, how can I be praying of you?” Those responses are rare now. As I’ve said,
it’s been a long road.
My tendency is to allow
myself to passively ride along this crazy roller coaster. Of course, I can’t change the majority of
circumstances- but I’ve come to realize that how I view the ride is the
important thing.
Over the past six months,
I’ve come across an ancient practice, discipline, called “Consolation and
Desolation”. This tool was first written about in the 16th century
by St. Ignatius of Loyola in his book “The Spiritual Exercises”. Practicing these, one can go through their
day with more of a birds-eye view of the coaster life, instead of a side-view.
It is an especially good way to put-the-day-to-bed, or start-the-day.
It isn’t so important when
it is done during the day, that is personal, but it can be and important tool,
which used regularly may help stabilize your ride in the world of chronic
illness.
I don’t know about you, but
I’m a ‘bad news first’ kinda person- so I will begin with explaining Desolation. Here is a list by Margaret Silf:
Desolation:
-
turns us in on
ourselves
-
drives us down
the spiral ever deeper into our own negative feelings
-
cuts us off
from community
-
makes us want
to give up on things that used to be important to us
-
takes over our
whole consciousness and crowds out our distant vision
- covers up all
our landmarks
- drains us of
energy
In other words, “What
pulls me away from God? For what am I
least grateful? What drains life from me?”
Continuing on with the
‘good news’, Silf explains Consolation
as:
-
Directs our
focus outside and beyond ourselves
-
Lifts our
hearts so that we can see the joys and sorrows of other people
-
Bonds us more
closely with our human community
-
Generates
balance and refreshes our inner vision
-
Shows us where
God is active in our lives and where He is leading us
-
Releases new
energy
In Consolation we ask, “What
draws me close to God? For what am I grateful? What gives me life?”
(If you need help with
words to express your feelings- just try using your internet search engine and
keyboard in “word list, feelings” or “word list, values”. It can be very therapeutic and cathartic to
find just the right word with which to express yourself.)
The questions Silf gives us
great direction. Perhaps you are a
journaler, and you can incorporate the practice of answering these questions of
Desolation and Consolation in your journal.
Or, you may be like me- a ‘jotter’, making two columns and jotting down
a bullet-point list. Another idea may be
to have someone who is close to you, agree to practice this with you verbally-
sharing these things together… No matter how, or when you may incorporate this
into your daily protocol- I’d encourage you to then follow up your journaling/jotting/sharing
with a prayer- handing all of it over
into the loving hands our Lord.
The LORD gives, the LORD
takes, He Sees, He Hears- He is
trustworthy, and in Him alone is our Hope Secure. We first must make sure we are secure in Him
as we take this wild ride.
I cannot trust in my
circumstances, ideas, feelings- or those of others, to give me hope. But, the
Lord Jesus is Hope, and He has indeed
proven Himself trustworthy over and over again.
Doing the Desolation and Consolation exercise helps me to be less
mercurial, less reactive, and to be more at peace that in all things God is working things out on my behalf, with great depth
and dimension, beyond what I can even imagine.
With Him, I can be authentic and honest about all I am thinking and
feeling, He is safe with whom to share anything; I can give all these things
over into His capable hands…and begin to find more enjoyment in the ride.
Taming a Wild Ride, written by Cynthia Dainsberg,
RN, FCN Author of “Practical Care Tips
for Those in the Lyme Fight- an Interactive Care Handbook for Those Battling
Lyme Disease and Other Chronic Conditions, with Special Notes to Caregivers”,
available through Amazon.com Also some
time Blogger at http://encouragementforlymefighters.blogspot.com/, and on
Facebook at Cynthia Dainsberg, RN, FCN
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Thank you so much Cindy for sharing your heart today! What a beautiful piece of encouragement this is for all of us Lymies and anyone going through a "roller coaster" season of life!!
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