notes from the porch {one}

I have been so touched by all of your questions, gracious comments, emails, phone calls & text messages asking how things are going with my health since my last update in June. It is hard to express how grateful I am for all of the sweet concern because often times dealing with chronic illness is very lonely and isolating. SO thank you for caring so much about me and what is going on. I know that I have not done the best job in updating as regularly as I should - some of that is coming to terms with some things myself and I do apologize. I will start updating more regularly and I am going to affectionately call the updates "notes from the porch". Partly I chose this phrase because my porch in New York is one of my favorite places to pray, write, spend time with family & friends and just simply rest and partly because it seems a fitting title. *smiles*

While my time at the Whitaker Wellness Institute was a life-saving decision, it was not the "final" cure as I still have Lyme's and Cancer {and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome}. My three and half weeks that I spent out in California was a stabilizer for what was happening in my body. There was an immediate response by the institute to my body that was literally shutting down and it truly saved my life. But as I am slowly learning, and my doctor cautioned me many weeks ago- the real work comes in the everyday healing after that time. I recently was sent this quote from a friend who heard it from a TV show and I thought how truly fitting it is for what I am going through right now: 

"After a trauma, your body is at its most vulnerable. Response time is critical. So you're suddenly surrounded by people- doctors, nurses, specialists, technicians- surgery is a team sport. Everyone pushing for the finish line. Putting you back together again. But surgery {and intense treatment} is trauma in and of itself, and once it's over, the real healing begins. It's called recover. Recovery is not a team sport. It's a solitary distance run. It's long. It's exhausting. And it's lonely as hell."

I have been asked about what each day looks like and to be frank it is hard to describe what a "typical" day looks like right now. Some days have been blessed with a little bit of energy where I am able to get out of bed and move around independently while others have been extremely difficult and painful (like these past three days) and I have been completely bedridden not able to do anything (except cry). I try to take each moment at a time and each day at a time and to be honest sometimes that easier than others. While the "bad days" still outnumber the "good days" I am still thankful to be doing better than I was in the winter and early spring. 

In between the "bad days" there have been simple miracles. Two weeks ago I was SO blessed to experience what I can only term as the "miracle days" when I went to Kristen and Paul's wedding. I am confident that it was nothing short of all of the prayers that you are praying for me daily. It truly was a MIRACLE in how the Lord provided more strength and health for those days then I have had in over a year. 

So the next steps that I am to take are slow and a long distance run (or a marathon as I affectionately like to call it- even though I have always hated running). As I mentioned in June the decision was made by my doctor and myself that I would stop two of the treatments: the Hyberbaric Oxygen Treatments and the Vitamin C IV treatments. The reason for this is because it was impossible to find proper centers for them around where I live. I have continued with some of the other natural treatments (including acupuncture) and some medicines that are dealing with the Lyme's and the Cancer. I have also been continuing to add additional supplements each week to help my body from a natural perspective. One thing that I am working on doing is correcting as many of the "deficiencies" that Lyme's has created in my body through food, supplements, and prescriptions. Through blood work it became clear that I was severely anemic (my iron levels read below "1"), severely deficient in calcium, magnesium, and several other things, and finally my immune system was shutting down. These are all prayer requests- specifically for my immune system to improve and heal. As I mentioned in June my immune system is so low that I am not able to handle the "tougher" medicines to truly kill off the Lyme's so that is definitely one of the main goals this summer. Right now the medicines that I am taking are basically serving to prevent the Lyme's from growing and also from continuing to spread. I will be having some additional testing done at the end of August to evaluate these numbers. 

I am also planning a return trip to the Whitaker Wellness Institute in late September {approximately September 15th}. While I am looking at getting treated regularly at a clinic in North Carolina there are certain treatments that are not available at anywhere but the Whitaker Wellness Institute so I have begun to prepare for that. 

One of my doctors is watching a couple of spots in regards to the cancer. As I mentioned last month the doctors are keeping a very close eye on the cancer because it was labeled as aggressive and the margins were extremely large. In addition to this my immune system is so weak that the doctors want to make sure that everything is watched very carefully. These spots that the doctors are watching have been tested and we will be deciding the best next steps on how to treat those areas. 

As I look back in amazement on how things have changed in a year I am reminded once again that despite the constant ups and downs of my health the Lord is ever present. A year ago there was a verse from Ezekiel that stood out to me: "The Lord is There". This verse continues to be a constant source of comfort as the Lord truly meets me everyday and is faithful in His mercy. Often times I am prone to worry and fuss about the future, money, what my health will look like in a year from now, etc. but that is not my concern. The Lord is There. He already knows what the days, months, and years ahead will bring and He will meet each and everyone of my fears and needs. What a comfort and a peace to know that The Lord is There. 

Specific Prayer Requests:

1. Against pain- specifically stomach pain.

2. For energy- many days the simplest of things takes incredible energy.

3. For my body to start responding to the long term treatments.

4. I am also praying for the inflammation to go down in my body. This is the bodies natural response to the Lyme's infection and the Cancer but I would covet prayers for that also!

5. For healing & mercy.

6. Another area that I would covet prayer for is in the area of finances. In addition to the AMAZING generosity of SO many people that have helped this past Spring my parents have truly sacrificed so much to help me get better. I have updated my "Go Fund Me page" {which you can see on the right} to a larger dollar amount to help cover the cost of treatment this summer and supplements, and in preparation for treatment in the fall. Some of you have asked if you can still donate - and yes, you can - I am humbled and am so grateful for all of your support. 

7. The Lord has been opening up some opportunities to speak and share my testimony of what He is doing. I would covet prayer for these opportunities and that the Lord would use my words to encourage those who are hurting and seeking of HIS love. I would also ask for prayers for additional opportunities to come up. 

8. Against discouragement. As I mentioned before there is a LONG road ahead and I do admit that there are many days that I am impatient to be completely healthy and "back to real life". I so appreciate your prayers and encouragement during this long journey!

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support!